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fjordism:

AARON PAUL JUST POSTED THIS ON TWITTER AND I’M SHITTING

2 days ago on April 22nd | J | 133,235 notes

Careful, honey, it’s loaded,” he said, reentering the bedroom.

Her back rested against the headboard. “This for your wife?”

“No. Too chancy. I’m hiring a professional.”

“How about me?”

He smirked. “Cute. But who’d be dumb enough to hire a lady hit man?”

She wet her lips, sighting along the barrel.

“Your wife.

"Bedtime Story" by Jeffrey Whitmore (via 01012012)
2 days ago on April 22nd | J | 37,185 notes
Tagged as: #yes yes yes 
2 days ago on April 21st | J | 13,310 notes
Tagged as: #night vale 
Half gods are worshipped in wine and flowers. Real gods require blood.
Zora Neale Hurston, Their Eyes Were Watching God (via ughmoriarty)
2 days ago on April 21st | J | 2,225 notes
Tagged as: #aha 

2x04 | 4x02

2 days ago on April 21st | J | 39,871 notes
3 days ago on April 21st | J | 15,823 notes

What To Do When Your Boyfriend’s Asshole Best Friend Says, “Hey, Never Trust Anything That Bleeds For Seven Days And Doesn’t Die,
Right?”
OR The Only Poem I’ll Ever Write About Periods.

Don’t excuse him because he’s had
at least three lite beers
and is sweating through his black button down
that his mom or exgirlfriend
probably bought him.
Don’t excuse him because he’s been turned down
by the last six girls he went on dates with
after meeting them on tindr
with a picture that’s seven years old
Don’t excuse him because
he’s usually such a nice guy
because you don’t want to be a bitch
because you don’t want to cause a scene
because when you were seventeen
your sister told you
no one likes an angry feminist

Tell him,
Hey, Asshole:
Let me explain something to you.
Every goddamn motherfucking month since I was eleven,
a part of me
tore itself to shreds
ripped itself apart inside me
and then remade itself.

So yes, I bleed for seven days
and I don’t die
You know what else can do that?
Gods.
Immortal beings.
Things of legend.
Fuck, I can even
create life.

So I say, never trust anything that can’t
bleed for seven days and not die.
You know what that makes it?
Weak
Fallible
Mortal.
So let’s see, hon,
What you’re made of.
If you can bleed for seven days
and not die.

Rip out his jugular with your teeth.
And when he bleeds for seven seconds
and dies,
spit on his corpse and say,
I thought not.

Katherine Tucker (determined-in-slc)

(via ted-bundys-cabin)

3 days ago on April 21st | J | 111,983 notes
Tagged as: #hah 
me: I'm pretty sure I would marry every single Avenger.
obnoxious friend: Black Widow is an Avenger.
me: Did I fucking stutter?
3 days ago on April 21st | J | 44,654 notes
3 days ago on April 21st | J | 389,588 notes
Tagged as: #aaaawwww yeaah 

skarvika:

masturb88ting:

does getting a septum piercing hurt?

it hurts the people that care about you

image

3 days ago on April 21st | J | 311,831 notes